From early on I heard, "Ugh, when you have kids romance goes out the window." I watched the negative affects of having children added to a relationship with my own parents. Was this a fear for me? Um, well of course. I've already mentioned our first Valentine's day that I was pregnant. I made it a mission with having William that we must make time for our relationship. Before we had William I was terribly in love with Sebastian. Do I feel the same way? YES! There's no one I'd rather laugh about getting pooped on with. Was it easy staying in love? Is it ever...well no. Every relationship has its up's and downs. What I've learned and many might think I'm a bad mother for it, make time for you and your partner without children. This might be when they go to sleep, or just completely separately. BUT the time is needed. No matter how long you're together you change.
For us, we love to travel. From when William was 8 months we planned short trips away. This was obviously extremely hard for me. Especially through my battle with postpartum depression. I had a very hard time letting someone else care for William. Luckily, we have amazing families that helped me get past it.
For me, when I'm with William I'm in official Mommy mode. My time, thoughts, and energy go to him. I might say to my husband- we will have a date night when William sleeps. But the fact is, we don't have family near us and we're both exhausted at the end of the day. Even if we get a babysitter for the night, one of us has to be on William duty if he wakes up or if something happens in the night.
Going away on trips while he stays with our family is our only "us" time. It's also a time that he gets to bond with our families. Both of us have very close families. We feel it's so important for him to have that bond. For me, I am the person I am today because of spending time with my family. He's not going to be small forever. We know that.
Does that mean we don't travel with him? Of course not. We do our share amount of traveling with him.
Is it hard for me to leave him? YES! I literally cry EVERY SINGLE TIME. I cried on the way to the airport as well as the airport bathroom. However, I know he's going to have a blast and I know we all need this time!
What's on our agenda? Well Sebastian & I are going on a late honeymoon trip! We're off to ITALY! So excited. We fly into Milan, then Lake Como, and finally Florence! This is time for us to enjoy each other and celebrate how far we've come and our battles with parenting before our move to the city.
Where's William? As you know I've been in Cali with my in-laws. William is staying with them for our time away. He is attending a preschool with our family friends and enjoying family time. We thought this was the best plan to keep he use to his normal schedule.
My main thought is love your partner, find time for you to rejuvenate, and get to know each other again.